Amendments to the Zdydldedrish Constitution:
Heys all of usses Comrades. We is here to ammind usses her' Cauns'itootion, 'cauz chaaenges need themselves to be made, and we's ornerly making'em for'em, yaaa. Here be usses ammindments:
Amendment I: The Emus - Dem emus shall be here to join usses with usses Communism, yaa. (Proposed May 23)
Amendment II: The Llamas - Dem llamas shall be here to join usses with usses Communism, yaa. (Proposed May 24)
Amendment III: The Zebras - Dem zebras shall be here to join usses with usses Communism, yaa. (Proposed May 28)
Amendment IV: Battle Practice sessions - There'll be no'mo' battl' pracktiss se'ishuns, 'cauz we don' like'em, yaaa. (Proposed June 1*)
Amendment V: The Consitution** - a. Anyone who is found boarding the Consititution without permissioin from the government shall immediately be arrested and hanged like a common criminal without a trial. b. If the person who was found boarding the Constitution does this only because he was forced to, he shall only be given 10 years in prison, and the one who forced the person to board the Constitution shall immediately be hanged like a common criminal. c. If the judges feel like killing both of them, they can do so. (Proposed June 13)
Amendment VI: Snickers bars - a. Snickers Bars shall, in any place in which they are sold, be sold for a mininum of 62 cents. b. Anyone who violates this rule shall serve 25 years in prison. (Propsed June 20)
Amendment VII: Of the use of bullets in war - a. Anyone found guilty of wasting bullets in a battle shall immediately be given the chair. The chair shall be no less than 3 feet wide and 4 feet high. b. If an officer is found doing this, he/she shall only be sent to the showers and made to sign 45,000 autographs. (Proposed September 1)
Amendment VIII: Wandering off in search of a good pub - a. Any officer found wandering off in search of a good pub shall immediately be yelled at and demoted 0.75^8 ranks. b. If he/she does this for any reason related to Mad Libs, he/she will be excused. (Proposed September 15)
Amendment IX: Of the standard procedure to deal with mass revolts from dudes - a. All those dudes revolting, are to be classified as Type C Dangerous Subtances. b. They shall further be stamped with little sticky notes that say "FRAGILE" and "THIS SIDE UP" and "BIODEGRADABLE THINGS ARE PLAIN OUT COOL". c. If those dudes revolting complain about this being done to them, they shall be upgraded to Type D Dangerous Substances.
*After the incident with Ziggy the Zebra, both the Communists and Cap't'lists agreed that battle practice sessions were a bad idea. The Cap't'lists, being "above" such things as a Constitution, have no law prohibiting battle practice sessions, but they don't do any of them anyway, so it doesn't matter.
**At this point in time, the Yakkish dialect was dropped because other species with different dialects had joined. Also, the amendments started getting divided into parts.
Heys all of usses Comrades. We is here to ammind usses her' Cauns'itootion, 'cauz chaaenges need themselves to be made, and we's ornerly making'em for'em, yaaa. Here be usses ammindments:
Amendment I: The Emus - Dem emus shall be here to join usses with usses Communism, yaa. (Proposed May 23)
Amendment II: The Llamas - Dem llamas shall be here to join usses with usses Communism, yaa. (Proposed May 24)
Amendment III: The Zebras - Dem zebras shall be here to join usses with usses Communism, yaa. (Proposed May 28)
Amendment IV: Battle Practice sessions - There'll be no'mo' battl' pracktiss se'ishuns, 'cauz we don' like'em, yaaa. (Proposed June 1*)
Amendment V: The Consitution** - a. Anyone who is found boarding the Consititution without permissioin from the government shall immediately be arrested and hanged like a common criminal without a trial. b. If the person who was found boarding the Constitution does this only because he was forced to, he shall only be given 10 years in prison, and the one who forced the person to board the Constitution shall immediately be hanged like a common criminal. c. If the judges feel like killing both of them, they can do so. (Proposed June 13)
Amendment VI: Snickers bars - a. Snickers Bars shall, in any place in which they are sold, be sold for a mininum of 62 cents. b. Anyone who violates this rule shall serve 25 years in prison. (Propsed June 20)
Amendment VII: Of the use of bullets in war - a. Anyone found guilty of wasting bullets in a battle shall immediately be given the chair. The chair shall be no less than 3 feet wide and 4 feet high. b. If an officer is found doing this, he/she shall only be sent to the showers and made to sign 45,000 autographs. (Proposed September 1)
Amendment VIII: Wandering off in search of a good pub - a. Any officer found wandering off in search of a good pub shall immediately be yelled at and demoted 0.75^8 ranks. b. If he/she does this for any reason related to Mad Libs, he/she will be excused. (Proposed September 15)
Amendment IX: Of the standard procedure to deal with mass revolts from dudes - a. All those dudes revolting, are to be classified as Type C Dangerous Subtances. b. They shall further be stamped with little sticky notes that say "FRAGILE" and "THIS SIDE UP" and "BIODEGRADABLE THINGS ARE PLAIN OUT COOL". c. If those dudes revolting complain about this being done to them, they shall be upgraded to Type D Dangerous Substances.
*After the incident with Ziggy the Zebra, both the Communists and Cap't'lists agreed that battle practice sessions were a bad idea. The Cap't'lists, being "above" such things as a Constitution, have no law prohibiting battle practice sessions, but they don't do any of them anyway, so it doesn't matter.
**At this point in time, the Yakkish dialect was dropped because other species with different dialects had joined. Also, the amendments started getting divided into parts.
posted by Jaja at 9:47 AM
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