THE ABRIDGED VERSION OF THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF JAJA BEBE, PART V: OUT ON THE STREETS (1960-1969)

(In progress)

I was at first ecstatic when I left the Smugglish Team. After all, a new life, a new home... But soon I was presented the reality by a middle-aged man wearing a red top-hat: I was out on the streets, unemployed, unimplored. In fact, for the next few years, I remained out on the streets. Eventually, I built a small house. It was on the top of a small hill, and it consisted of three pillows to sleep on, a stick for a roof, and a jack-in-the-box and comic books for entertainment. By house was built right next to a small store called "Come and Buy It If You Dare", but the storeowner, named Bïghïzhřlï, did not mind. You see, "Come and Buy It If You Dare" sold things that everybody might need, but the chances of needing it were so low that no one ever bothered to buy anything there. But when I staked my home next to the store, people started flocking to "Come and Buy It If You Dare" out of curiosity about me. When Bïghïzhřlï realized I was attracting customers, he paid me $2.40 a week to yodel a lot and do polka dancing. I accepted the offer. Of this payment, I spent $1.35 a week on food, 98¢ on wild Saturday night parties (2 2-liter bottles of soda for 49¢ apiece), and 7¢ on college prep exams. I was overjoyed. Bïghïzhřlï was overjoyed, because he got dozens of customers every day, even though none of them ever bought anything. One time, Bïghïzhřlï said that he would pay me $3.60 a week to also hold up a sign saying, "Come and get everything you might possibly need, but probably won't", but I declined on this offer. "I'haint doo'n no k'merrhshal beez'iness", I said.

Despite Bïghïzhřlï's generous payments of $2.40 a week, I still needed more money. I needed more money to start my own society called BODY, which is an acronym for B'ware O' Dem Yaks. Unfortunately, the only way I could see to earn money was with BODY. So I decided to start of small, and with a lime green stripe in the middle. I began writing artcles in the newspaper about how the human influence of society in the world might lead to other species forming their own governments, and what type of governments they would form. I entitled all of them "How the human influence of society in the world might lead to other species forming their own governments, and what type of governments they would form". Although I pretended that these articles focused on all species, they really focused on the yaks, and how they would all become communists. Though the articles had some almost convincing aspects, such as the connection of the horns to the skull influencing the front abdominal lobe of the brain, they were altogether basically a load of hogwash. Therefore, the only paper that would accept my articles was the Cleveland Clopper, a two-page newspaper which sold for five cents. However, it was a start. Unfortuanetly, it wasn't an end, a background, or a foreground. I wrote weekly from March 7, 1962 to April 15, 1969, for $1.60 a week. Now I was paid $4 a week. I was ecstatic.